New Song – You Could Have Had Me

songwriting

I started work on this a few months ago, then forgot about it. I found it in my songwriting folder yesterday, worked on it yesterday and today, and got it to a first draft state. I’ll record a crude version and post it on myspace for feedback.

You Could Have Had Me
by Rob Roper 1st draft April 5, 2008

You could have been happy
You could have had me
But you went for him
And I was just a friend
So I have no sympathy
For your latest tragedy
Why can’t you see?
You could have had me

You like the pretty ones
Won’t consider the other ones
But they don’t need you
They get bored and they leave you
You wouldn’t give me a chance
Now he’s left you at the dance
Still you don’t see
You could have had me

Oh, you say you’ll change
But I know it’s not true
You see, I understand
Cause I’m just like you

Soon you’ll recover
And you’ll find another
And he’ll do you wrong
And you’ll write another sad song
And I’ll sip my beer
But I won’t shed a tear
Cause you’ll never see
You could have had me

Stepping back and looking at the lyrics myself, I see no detail or imagery, no similes or metaphors except for the metaphor about leaving her at the dance. But I worry that’s a cliche. I’ll try it out at some gigs and open mics the next couple of months, and continue to tinker with it.

-Rob

5 thoughts on “New Song – You Could Have Had Me”

  1. I think the missing metaphors are no problem. You’re lowering your own value with this song. First, she doesn’t pick you – supposedly because you’re boring in her eyes – and you end up in friend zone. You accept that (you even listen to her “tragedies”). You say you’re not good-looking (“You like the pretty ones”). Then you write a song about it as a last resort. But you don’t give a single reason why she should have picked you. (Except that she’d be happy with you but how can you be so sure?) I don’t know if this is a true story but after performing this song live, you certainly won’t pick up any girls in the audience.

    Girls like excitement and emotions, i.e. entertainment. Stability is something that comes after they picked someone. As a musician, you’re totally in the best position to provide excitement and emotions. That’s why musicians get all the girls.

    I think the song idea is good. “You could have had me.” But it should have been along the lines of:

    You could have had me
    You could have had the rollercoaster ride
    But you picked Mr. No Personality
    So now Ms. Beauty is by my side
    You could have had me
    You could have had me

    (That’s a chorus. The verses should be no problem now.)

    That’s three reasons she should be with you:

    1. Being with you is exciting.
    2. You have personality.
    3. Beautiful girls want to be with you.

  3. I thought when John Lennon said, “I’m a Loser” he was the coolest and studliest guy in the world.

    When Howard Stern said his whanger was only two inches long and he’d last only two seconds with a hot chick, her attraction soared.

    I doubt you were trying to pick up chicks, but the “evolutionary biologists” seem to suggest that “advertising costly signals” is one of the super peacock maneuvers.

    So, please let us know if it rained panties when you played it at the open stage.

    Tom St. Louis
    http://www.gmsiamovie.wordpress.com

  4. Hey Rob,

    If she would have picked you, you wouldn’t have gotten the song. I suspect that feeding the muse was worth more than the real relationship would ever have been.

    I do have to agree with “anonymous” about girls liking “excitement and emotions.” I think you should use his lyric changes…but I would wait until the ExtenZe kicks in to debut it live. Maybe you could wear spandex too. You could do a little gyration when you sing the new lines “You could have had the rollercoster ride.”

    I think you would meet Anonymous’s 3 point plan then:
    1. Being with you is exciting. (A foot long wiener will do that for a girl.)
    2. You have personality. (Gyrating in Spandex proves that.)
    3. Beautiful girls want to be with you. (Hell..maybe they’ll even give you a discount…due to 1 and 2.)

    Kurt

  5. Thanks for the comments, folks. They’ve been interesting and humorous. Here’s my 2nd draft, I removed the “chance/dance” cliche, although the “beer/tear” cliche remains. But mainly I changed the 3rd verse so it follows up on the message of the bridge. I don’t consider it finished yet; I still want to tinker with it and improve on it.

    You Could Have Had Me
    by Rob Roper 2nd draft April 19, 2008

    You could have been happy
    You could have had me
    But you went for him
    And I’m just a friend
    So I have no sympathy
    For your latest tragedy
    Why can’t you see?
    You could have had me

    You like the pretty ones
    Not the loving ones
    But they really don’t need you
    They get bored and they leave you
    So I sip my beer
    But I won’t shed a tear
    Cause you’ll never see
    You could have had me

    Bridge:
    Oh, you say you’ll change
    But I know it’s not true
    You see, I understand
    Yes, I understand
    Cause I’m just like you

    You’ll find another
    Just like the others
    And I’ll do the same
    Cause you know we can’t change
    And they’ll do us wrong
    And we’ll sing the same old sad song
    It’s the same old story
    Ah, you could have had me

    You could have had me
    And you can still have me

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